Tinder, Bumble, Hinge: Why users are burning out from dating apps
CBC News reports that an increasing number of dating-app users are stepping back from platforms such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge after experiencing emotional fatigue and frustration.
Toronto human-resources professional Mehak Shoeb, 31, says she has paused her app use after years of swiping. “I just feel like with anything, when you invest too much of your energy and you’re not getting the outcome that you want, you kind of need to take a step back,” Shoeb told CBC News.
Other users interviewed across Canada described similar feelings. “You’re chatting with people and the conversations just go nowhere,” said Taly Levinsky, 28, from Vancouver. “And the burnout comes from just, like, continuously experiencing these types of lacklustre matches.” Natasha Streiling, 28, in Victoria called the apps a generator of a “culture of burnout”: “The endless swiping, the endlessly reading people’s profiles and the trying to figure out what to say to people.”
Evidence of emotional fatigue
Research cited by the article includes a 2022 survey from Singles Reports showing that nearly 80 per cent of 500 U.S. adults who had used an app in the previous 12 months reported some form of emotional fatigue or burnout. Therapists and counsellors say they are seeing that reflected in clinic rooms as well. “I think this problem is coming from just the apps themselves, you know, and we haven’t really figured out the best way to use them,” said counsellor Jessica Taylor, based in Denver.
What therapists call burnout
Psychotherapist Sadaf Siddiqi in New York describes burnout as reaching capacity — mentally, physically or emotionally. On dating apps it often looks like a loss of enjoyment, increased frustration or anxiety, reduced swiping, quick ends to conversations, or repeatedly downloading and deleting apps. “Wanting a relationship, but honestly, just downloading the app and then quickly deleting it or not engaging with the app at all,” Taylor said.
Gamification keeps users hooked
Kathryn Coduto, an online-dating researcher at Boston University, told CBC News that apps are deliberately designed to keep people engaged. “They are businesses and they want their users to stay on them,” she said, pointing to algorithmic suggestions, swipe interfaces and prompts to buy in‑app features as mechanisms that prolong use and can make interactions feel like a game rather than a search for connection. “The swipe interface, the gamification, leads to burnout because it doesn’t feel like there’s a genuine connection being sought,” Coduto said.
Some users describe the effect as addictive. Agraj Rathi, 27, a copywriter in Vancouver, said he began to feel he was “going on too many dates” and losing himself. Similar concerns led six U.S. users to file a proposed class action in February against Match Group — owner of Hinge, Tinder and Match — alleging the company’s gamified design turns users into “gamblers locked in a search for psychological rewards.” Match Group denied the claims, with a spokesperson calling the suit “ridiculous and has zero merit.”
Platform behaviour: ghosting and mismatch of goals
Beyond product design, common user behaviours contribute to burnout. Therapists described rote initial conversations, simultaneous conversations across apps, catfishing fears and frequent ghosting. “Dating culture definitely brought to the forefront how detrimental ghosting is to someone’s mental health,” Siddiqi said, while noting ghosters themselves may be overwhelmed and lack communication skills. Researcher Rachel Katz added that clashes over different goals — casual versus serious dating — often produce frustration; Shoeb said she is more selective now and not interested in “something really casual.”
Traditional dating and brighter notes
Several interviewees said in-person approaches feel less common, with people now less likely to start a conversation face to face. Still, some users say meeting people offline yields more organic connections. The article also notes a 2020 Pew Research survey finding that about 12 per cent of nearly 5,000 U.S. adults reported marriage or a committed relationship with someone they met online.
How to navigate apps without burning out
Therapists and researchers interviewed offered practical steps: take deliberate breaks (including deleting apps temporarily), limit yourself to one app at a time, avoid talking to many people simultaneously if it overwhelms you, stop swiping when stressed or tired, and be mindful of personal limits. “My biggest tip for having a constructive experience on dating apps is to increase your self-awareness,” Siddiqi advised. “Don’t judge yourself, don’t shame yourself, just know how you operate.”
Shoeb says she’s taking a breather but remains optimistic: “Dating for me is fun. Right now I’m taking a breather. But I do want to meet my person, so I’ll probably be back on it.”
This report draws on reporting by CBC News and includes links to additional resources and research embedded in the original piece, including Singles Reports’ research, Bumble’s coverage of dating burnout, Hinge’s labs and tips, and a 2020 Pew Research survey.
