Bumble, Hinge, We Met IRL: In-person dating surges as apps face a reckoning
The dating-app sector is confronting mounting challenges as subscriber numbers fall, costs rise and many users alike report exhaustion with endless swiping. Recent layoffs at Bumble have intensified questions about the future of app-first romance and the alternatives people are embracing to find connection offline.
One clear pivot: a renewed interest in in-person dating formats — from speed dating and running clubs to daytime raves — as users look for ways to meet beyond chemistry determined by a thumbnail and a swipe. For older millennials and Gen X, those settings feel familiar; for many in Gen Z, they can feel unfamiliar or intimidating.
Generational gaps and new expectations
That intergenerational divide surfaced at Canada’s first sex tech conference, where a speaker presenting on masculinity, dating apps and offline alternatives was interrupted during Q&A by a young attendee who said, “Check your extrovert privilege.” The exchange shifted the conversation toward why younger people often struggle with in-person dating despite wanting meaningful connection.
Journalism and opinion pieces have echoed that theme. A New York Times feature urged Gen Z to build community and embrace a broader range of relationships rather than hunting exclusively for “the one.” Meanwhile, some apps are trying to bridge the gap: Hinge runs One More Hour, an initiative to encourage face-to-face connection, specifically aimed at younger users who report anxiety about meeting in real life.
Offline models gaining traction
Organizers and startups that center in-person interaction are expanding to meet demand. One example is the relationship-focused organization We Met IRL, founded in 2022, which hosts speed-dating nights, mixers and social events intended to foster romantic and platonic connections offline.
Surveys suggest a shift in behavior: a recent survey cited in the original piece found that only 23 percent of Gen Z adults reported meeting partners through apps, social media or online communities, indicating many are already turning to real-world encounters.
Why in-person dating can feel hard
Despite that interest, in-person dating is not universally easier. Critics point to a range of factors driving Gen Z’s discomfort: performative online communication, interrupted social development during the pandemic, heightened fear of rejection (ghosting, cheating) and broader shifts in masculinity and intimacy. The article links to research and reporting on those trends, including a study with Gen Z students and coverage of shifting male intimacy in the New York Times.
Worryingly, the piece also points to the rise of misogynistic influencers and politicized rhetoric that can radicalize some young men — factors that further complicate the landscape for healthy, respectful dating.
Practical steps to build confidence offline
The article offers practical advice for younger daters who want to grow comfortable with in-person interaction. It summarizes seven tips from licensed counsellors:
- Prepare for events ahead of time where possible.
- Reframe uncertainty as opportunity rather than threat.
- Stay grounded in your sense of self.
- Practice social skills to build confidence.
- Be mindful of open, welcoming body language.
- Remember others share similar struggles.
- Consider therapy if anxiety is overwhelming.
The author emphasizes that introversion and extroversion are not fixed limits: social confidence can be developed like a muscle through supported practice, reflection and community spaces that allow young people to experiment with connection without stigma.
