The Golden Bachelor — Gray Dating and What the ABC Hit Says About Desire After 50

ABC’s reality series The Golden Bachelor has reignited public discussion about dating and desire later in life, and a recent piece on Psychology Today examined why the show resonates with older daters. Updated Oct. 5, 2025 and reviewed by Jessica Schrader, the Psychology Today article framed the phenomenon as part cultural mirror, part inspiration.

Key takeaways

• Reality dating shows can inspire viewers, particularly older audiences.
• Focusing on self-care and an active social life can make dating feel more possible after 50.
• Idealizing prospective partners — especially strangers — carries emotional risk.

The article centers on Mel Owens, the 66-year-old former football player who is the Golden Bachelor in season two. It notes an early controversy after Owens reportedly told a podcast that he “preferred women ages 40 to 60 who do not have artificial hips or wigs,” a remark that struck a nerve with many women over 50 whose marriages ended or who worried they had “aged out” of dating.

Psychology Today points out that ABC subverts expectations by casting 23 women aged 58 to 77 as Owens’s contestants, creating a dynamic that has drawn both gray daters and younger viewers curious about aging and romance. The piece observes that many contestants are accomplished and put considerable effort into appearance — including visible facial plastic surgery — highlighting a cultural tension: artificial hips might rule someone out in Owens’s comment, yet cosmetic procedures are embraced by contestants seeking to remain attractive on television.

For many viewers over 50, the show has been unexpectedly encouraging. The Psychology Today writer reports that some women say the series reminded them they can still be desirable and prompted renewed interest in dating. Others say they are comparing themselves to contestants, but many have shifted focus toward accomplishments, social life and self-care rather than appearance alone — a development the article calls a “pleasant surprise.” The piece links these ideas to broader themes around mating and relationship expectations.

At the same time, the article warns about the dangers of idealizing someone you barely know. It notes that viewers and contestants alike can project hopes and fantasies onto an attractive, available partner — a dynamic that often leads to disappointment. The takeaway, according to Psychology Today, is practical: enjoy the show and let it inspire you to invest in your life and social connections, but be cautious about chasing strangers or elevating outward appearances above character and compatibility. The original article also touches on how excessive attention to looks can be problematic and references issues like divorce in shaping older daters’ perspectives.

Overall, the Psychology Today piece frames The Golden Bachelor as a cultural flashpoint that both comforts and cautions older adults exploring romance — a reminder that dating after 50 can involve hope, self-work and discernment.