Online Dating: ‘Ghosting PTSD’ Rises as Disappearing Matches Rewire Brains
Dating apps promised speed and convenience, but many users report a steady stream of mid-conversation disappearances that psychologists now say can rewire the brain into what some clinicians are calling “ghosting PTSD.”
A September study from Joi AI documented a sharp rise in desperation search terms: queries such as “I got ghosted” jumped nearly 200 percent, while “Why do people ghost” climbed about 150 percent. The researchers and clinicians cited in the original reporting say the spike reflects how rejection without closure keeps people replaying conversations that never resolved.
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That pattern is familiar to many singles. For 27-year-old Susannah Hardwick, who moved from the UK to New York last year, the cycle has been relentless. The New York Post reports she was ghosted by roughly 40 men over a 12-month span. “Getting ghosted can really be destructive for your self-worth and self-esteem,” Hardwick told the Post.
Hardwick described dates that moved quickly toward talk of commitment one week and then vanished the next. After dozens of repeats, she stepped back from dating entirely.
The rise and its effects
Relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein told the original reporter that the habit of disappearing is reshaping how people experience intimacy. “People who’ve been ghosted are proven to feel anxious and hypervigilant in social contact; their self-esteem plummets,” she explained. Even small delays in a text thread can begin to feel like a personal slight, triggering second‑guessing and anticipatory rejection.
The emotional toll shows up in behavior. Some users log off apps, convinced the platforms produce endless churn without meaningful outcomes. Others continue to swipe while carrying the cumulative weight of past rejections into every new interaction. Friends and therapists say conversations about dating fatigue have become routine; clients commonly describe the apps as “exhausting” and “dehumanizing.”
Bronstein recommends pressing pause long enough to regain balance before returning to the dating scene. Practical steps she suggests include rehearsing conversations with friends or a therapist to rebuild expectations for steady, reciprocal exchanges rather than abrupt disappearances.
Hardwick is currently taking a break, but clinicians warn that the churn of disappearing dates keeps drawing new people into the same cycle. What began as a digital-era dodge now carries consequences that clinicians say resemble a broader behavioral-health concern rather than a mere dating quirk.
