Online dating: Gen Z is choosing friendships and casual arrangements over traditional dating
This piece, based on reporting in The Sydney Morning Herald, examines why many Gen Z adults are stepping away from conventional dating and prioritising friendships and looser sexual arrangements instead.
A casual joke between friends to declare a “summer of friendship” quickly became a deliberate pact: no dating, prioritise friends and avoid “crashing out” — the Gen Z term for pining and melancholic obsession. The idea resonated beyond the immediate circle, drawing interest not only from the recently heartbroken but also from those juggling casual partners, friends entering relationships and even partners in otherwise stable commitments.
There are demographic trends that help explain this shift. The author notes there are nearly 3 million single-person households in Australia, with similar patterns across much of the OECD, and that many in Gen Z are having less sex and sometimes “just finding love at the age their parents were settling down” (SMH).
Other structural forces are in play: rising educational attainment and broader career opportunities have reduced economic pressure to couple — particularly for women — while political realignments have narrowed available dating pools. The author references changing political tendencies among younger men and women in Australia and links to a related piece on Gen Z men.
“I’ve noticed among my peers an increasingly fatalistic attitude towards dating.”
Apps contribute to the phenomenon by offering an apparently endless stream of options and a low-risk way of engaging: people can match, chat and then easily block, ghost or manufacture busyness rather than confront rejection in person. Meanwhile, new technologies are changing intimate behaviour altogether. A University of Sydney study found a significant minority of users of AI companions used them for sexual or romantic purposes (Psychology.org.au), prompting concern that always-available chatbots may displace some interpersonal intimacy.
The resulting cultural responses among Gen Z women include viral catchphrases and movements such as “decentering men”, “boysober” and “protecting your peace”, which the author argues may be less a clear rejection of modern dating and more an effort to avoid its risks.
The piece warns that attempting to eliminate heartbreak entirely risks other regrets — the “what-ifs” of never approaching someone on the dancefloor or the long-term gap left by shunning intimate risk altogether. Rather than a hard cessation of dating, the author describes adapting the summer-of-friendship rules: dating is permitted only when introductions feel communal and low-drama, and any emotional setbacks must be shared and processed with friends.
