Navigating Online Dating: The Latest Terms and Trends
The landscape of dating has transformed dramatically since the 1960s and 70s, shifting from meeting in person at social venues to navigating a complex digital world. Today, a significant portion of young adults, with 53% of 18- to 29-year-olds using dating apps according to a 2023 Pew Research Center survey, turn to platforms like Tinder, Match, Bumble, eHarmony, and Silver Singles (for those over 50) to find love. This surge in online dating has given rise to a unique vocabulary that helps users describe their experiences and strategies in this new environment.
Creating a profile is often the first step, involving writing a bio and selecting a flattering photo—though some may resort to “catfishing,” or using deceptive images or information, to attract matches. A more subtle tactic is “kittenfishing,” which involves slight embellishments to appear more appealing. However, honesty remains the safest approach.
Once profiles are set, users swipe through potential matches, looking for qualities like “rizz”—a term for charisma or charm that was Oxford University Press’s Word of the Year for 2023. They seek out “green flags,” positive traits such as good communication and respect, while avoiding “red flags” like inappropriate photos or typos. “Beige flags,” on the other hand, are bland or unremarkable traits that reveal little about a person.
Engaging in conversation typically begins with the “talking stage,” where individuals discuss interests and preferences. Terms like “exploridating”—being open to dating outside usual preferences—and “serendipidating”—delaying a date in hopes of a better option—highlight the playful language emerging in online dating. Users also watch out for “shaveducking” (being attracted solely by physical features like a beard), “wokefishing” (pretending to hold progressive views), and “breadcrumbing”—flirting without genuine intent.
As relationships deepen, users might “hardball” by setting clear expectations early or “slide into DMs”—sending flirty direct messages on social media. Caution is advised to avoid “love bombing,” where excessive affection is used manipulatively.
Meeting in real life introduces new terms: a “meetcute” describes an adorable first encounter, while avoiding a “situationship”—a relationship lacking boundaries or commitment—is often a goal. Concerns like “roaching” (dating multiple partners), “pocketing” (avoiding introducing a partner to friends and family), and “cookie jarring” (keeping options open) are common pitfalls.
Decisions about the relationship are often summarized by “DTR” (defining the relationship), determining if it’s serious enough to “cuff”—a term derived from “handcuffed”—signifying a committed partnership. Conversely, if someone is no longer interested, they might “bench” their partner, keeping them in reserve without commitment, or “ghost” them—ceasing all communication without explanation. A more considerate approach is “caspering,” giving advance notice of ending contact, while “zombieing” refers to reappearing after ghosting.
The proliferation of these terms underscores the growing popularity and complexity of online dating. As the language evolves, it reflects both the creativity and the challenges faced by users in this digital romance landscape. For those venturing into online dating, understanding this insider jargon can help navigate the process more confidently and avoid common pitfalls.
For more insights into online dating trends and consumer protections, visit the Federal Trade Commission.
