ChatGPT: The New ‘Ick’ — How AI Use Is Becoming a Red Flag in Dating
As generative AI tools such as ChatGPT become increasingly common in everyday life, a portion of daters are declaring a clear boundary: using AI for emotional or romantic decisions is a dealbreaker, according to reporting in The Guardian. What began as convenience has begun to register as a sign of emotional distance for some singles, joining other established red flags like substance misuse, extreme political differences and unhealthy lifestyles.
By late 2025, the debate around everyday AI use has broadened. Critics argue that outsourcing choices to algorithms depletes human creativity and curiosity, undermines critical thinking and erodes the authenticity many people seek in relationships. They also contend that the founders and investors profiting from these systems have often prioritised growth over users’ emotional well-being.
Alaina Demopoulos at The Guardian highlights small, telling moments in dating that have shifted perceptions. In one example, a woman learned her date had used ChatGPT to pick a breakfast spot — a seemingly minor act that revealed, to her, a deeper pattern of emotional laziness. As Demopoulos writes, reliance on AI for even light decisions can signal a lack of curiosity and effort, making genuine connection feel difficult when one partner prefers algorithms to engagement.
New York–based dating coach Ali Jackson told The Guardian that nearly all her clients now complain about what she calls “chatfishing” — people using AI to craft dating profiles and messages. Jackson estimates roughly 10% of adults now rely on ChatGPT in this way, and she encourages clients to avoid matches who habitually depend on AI for interpersonal communication.
Brooklyn sound engineer Ana Pereira echoed a similar sentiment, calling the behaviour “lazy” and describing a personal reaction when a friend sought emotional advice from ChatGPT instead of from their partner. For Pereira and others, that kind of reliance is perceived as avoidance of real feeling and a growing “AI ick” in modern relationships.
As AI blurs the line between helpful convenience and hollowed-out interaction, many singles say they are redefining intimacy around authenticity and emotional depth rather than algorithm-driven exchanges. For those seeking a traditional standard of effort and spontaneity, algorithm-assisted decision-making now sits among the characteristics they are less willing to accept.
